Monday, June 27, 2011


My parents' church showed this video before their Easter service this year.  It truly touched my question to you is...Who will you follow?

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Our God

This song came on while I was running the other day...totally helped me sprint the end of my run.


What is courage?  Let me tell you how I am currently learning what courage is.

A week ago Friday, my husband went to get a chest x-ray at CareNow.  You see, he and I had both been sick all week and the nurse practitioner Freddie had seen was persistent in the fact that Freddie has having bronchial spasms and needed a chest exam.  Freddie went in to CareNow thinking he might get a breathing treatment and be sent home.  We had big plans the following Saturday...we had a sitter...we were going to the Byron Nelson tournament to have some much coveted adult time with our friends.

Meanwhile, I was at the mall trying to find a new dress/outfit for our date the following day.  I was trying on dresses and Freddie kept calling me.  My cell phone has horrible service at our local mall and I had a hard time connecting with him until after I paid for my dress and left the store I was in.  His news: they were sending him to the ER because his x-ray lead them to believe that he had pneumonia.

We were both surprised, but still I figured that they would drain the fluid, he may spend the night, but we would be okay and he'd come home very soon.  Boy was I wrong...

I called my in-laws to come take care of Will.  I packed some sandwiches and snacks for us to eat {you never know how long your going to be in an ER and when/if you'll be fed} and once my father-in-law arrived we tag teamed and I headed to meet Freddie in the ER.

He was already in a room...they had taken him back immediately after he arrived {and he informed me that they were admitting him for at least a few days.  At this point, I asked my parents to head on up.}.  Not long after I got there, they wheeled him down the hall for a CT Scan.

I knew it was something more than pneumonia when they began asking Freddie if he smoked, had been around asbestos, or strong chemicals.  Several different doctors came in and tried to explain what they had found.  A mass...just A mass.  I finally asked the doctor to show me the scan and he preceded to show me the NUMEROUS masses floating around his lung.  They informed us that they needed to do a biopsy and didn't know when that would happen due to the Memorial Day weekend.

I went home, relieved my sister-in-law {who had relieved my father-in-law}, packed a bag and took a shower while I waited for my parents to arrive from San Antonio.  I finally got back to the hospital at almost 1:00 am.

Thankfully, they were able to do the bronchial and get a biopsy.  I spoke with the doctor after his procedure and finally asked him what the likeliness of Cancer was.  He led me to believe that it was most likely Cancer.

We began to pray...probably more than I have prayed in a very long time, sadly.  That afternoon, I remembered a dream I had had earlier in the week that was warning me that something bad was coming.  At this point, I realized that I had a Savior who wouldn't forget me and who would carry us through this no matter the outcome.

On Sunday, Freddie asked to go home.  We wouldn't recieve results from the biopsy until later in the week.

Fast forward...we finally met with the doctor on Thursday.  He informed us that Freddie had a very rare condition called thymoma.  He doesn't have Cancer, but it is malignant and we would need to begin chemo asap.

On Friday, we met with an oncologist.  He again informed us of the rarity of this disorder.  Freddie is going to have to go through some aggressive chemo, surgery, chemo again, and possibly radiation {it appears that one of the tumors has attached itself to one of his ribs}.

Now, back to my question...what is courage?  I'm learning what it is...I'm learning that when I said my vows on March 10, 2007, I meant them.  I'm learning that sickness can try to take everything away from you.  But I know my God is greater, my God is stronger, my God is higher than any other; My God is HEALER, awesome in power!

We are in for a journey.  One that will require lots of prayer, lots of courage, lots of grace and mercy.  Please pray for us when your thoughts turn our way and I pray that God blesses you in return.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”