Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Freddie Update

I know many of our friends and family have been waiting for an update after our visit to MD Anderson last week.  We are faced with an overwhelming journey ahead of us and it has taken some time to wrap our minds around all that lies ahead.

The surgeon is confident that surgery can be performed.  Freddie will have his entire right lung removed followed by a chemo wash during the surgery.  He will have to spend at least 7-10 days in the hospital recovering and at least another week in Houston before he can come home.  I'm estimating we will be in Houston about a month for the prep, surgery, hospital stay, and recovery.  We will come home for about a month or so and then need to return to Houston a week before he starts radiation.  He will do at least 5 weeks of radiation every day and need to stay another week.  That adds up to almost 2 months that we will be in Houston for his radiation treatments.

The most common question I am asked is if a person can live on one lung, and obviously, it is possible if the surgeon is going to perform the surgery.  Apparently, is is fairly common for patients with mesothelioma to have this surgery done.  Obviously, Freddie will have some physical limitations, but will hopefully be able to live a fairly normal life.  As of right now, his diagnosis is still Thymoma, although every doctor has told us the way it has manifested in his body looks like mesothelioma.

Needless to say, we will be getting some kind of furnished apartment {hopefully}.  There are many decisions to make, things to organize and changes coming in the next few months.  It is a lot to take in.  I think Freddie is mostly stressed about providing for his family, staying healthy and having a successful surgery and treatment.  I'm stressed about having the energy to take care of him and our son.  To be all that I need to be for both of my boys.  We don't really know anyone in Houston and this is a scary time when we need all the support we can get.  Please pray for our strength, courage, and grace as we face this difficult time.

We have also been faced with some needless stressful situations lately.  Our plates are overflowing and we are trying to focus on what Freddie needs and wants to do before we go.  Please pray for peace for our family.  Please also pray that God will guide the surgeon's and all doctors and healthcare professionals hands, decisions, and minds.  We speak wisdom, safety, and complete healing into this situation.

Your prayers, thoughts of encouragement, sweet notes, calls, and texts, and support of our little family mean so much to us and especially to Freddie.  Thank you for being there and thinking of us.  It is humbling to imagine all the prayers and thoughts that turn our way.

As soon as we know more, we will let you know.  I do not want to post any dates in a public location.  This is all we know right now.

I like to post bible verses because they help me focus on what I need to.  I have never thought, nor will I ever think that I am a perfect person.  I am simply a woman in need of a savior who loves me, gives me grace and forgiveness and peace.  

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33

9 Months

It's a week late, but better late than never, right?  Can you believe how C-U-T-E, cute this little boy is!  We are so blessed to have him and he is truly what brings us joy during this uncertain time in our lives.

He is 31 inches long (literally off the growth chart) and between 20-21 lbs.  He loves to crawl and stand and has now started walking behind his walker.  He's a very busy boy and it is a full time job keeping up with him.

We've started learning some sign language.  I'm hoping it will be a way for him to communicate with me while he learns to talk.

Will is a healthy eater.  He loves steal cut oatmeal, beans, veggies, fruit, Cheerios and Goldfish.  He wants to feed himself and gets frustrated if you try to help him or feed him.

Will has so much of his father in him, it's pretty unbelievable.  I'm so in love with both of my boys and feel very blessed.

I love you, William Thomas!

Will almost always smiles when you point a camera at him. 
{Can you see his top front teeth coming in?}

What are you doing?  Let me see that thing!

Have you not gotten enough pics mom?

Happy, healthy, and cute!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Do You Know?

Do you know pain?  Do you know what it is to really feel heartache? To lose your child, only to watch your husband hold your only son and to watch him wonder if he'll be there for him?

Do you know love?  Do you know what it is to love...to love beyond measure?  To love someone so deeply?  To watch them hurt, suffer, and wonder what is to come?

Do you know sickness?  How it can eat away all of the good you do...how it can take everything?  How it can bring so much unknown?

Do you know who you are?  When times are good...and when they are bad...I mean ugly?  When you have no control...everything is out of your hands.

Do you know what you are capable of?  How much prayer...how much patience...how much grace?

I looked at a picture of Freddie and me the other day.  It's hanging on a wall in our home.  It's from our honeymoon.  We are at the Marina in Cabo San Lucas...so happy, so in love, carefree.  I look at that woman and wonder.  I wonder what she would have thought to know the hills and valleys that lay ahead.  I wonder what she would have thought she was capable of enduring.  I wonder if she knew how capable she was...

It's amazing how many things can happen in such a short time.  How much a heart is capable of...how much a soul can seek its savior.

I have everything I ever wanted.  My husband, my child, my home...yet I am facing a situation where I don't know how much of that is permanent.  God is continuing to show me that my trust lies in Him.  That the things of this world aren't permanent.  That some of the things I think matter, don't matter in His kingdom.

I'm rambling again...but very overwhelmed and full of thoughts and prayers...and needing a place to jot them down.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

~Romans 15:13

Friday, September 2, 2011


We finally got in to MD Anderson on Wednesday.  It was a very loooong day for all three of us.  Will was a trooper, but I don't think I'll put him through that again.

We were up at 4:00 with Will and decided to just go ahead and pack up and head down to Houston.  It didn't help that we had not had more than a few hours sleep.  It was a physically and emotionally exhausting day.

After waiting almost 4 hours, we finally got to meet with the doctor.  He wasn't convinced that Freddie has been diagnosed correctly.  He wants to review the pathology.  He is going to let us meet with a surgeon, despite thinking that surgery is not a possibility.  He said there are too many tumors and they are too extensive to remove them.  Chemo is not a cure; it only reduces tumors and stops their growth.  So far, the chemo has not had enough of an effect on Freddie.  In short, Freddie faces a long journey {possibility of chemo the rest of his life}.  I'm sure if you put yourself in his shoes, you can only imagine the emotional and physical toll.

We have a God that answers prayer, so I ask all my prayer warriors to please continue praying.  My heart is breaking to see my husband go through this.

Our saving grace right now is our sweet son.  His smiles, giggles, and little dances are our distraction.  He makes our lives worth living and lifts us up when we are struggling to stay positive.  I can't imagine life without either of my boys...and I don't want to.

Thank you for your prayers and support.  Right now, we are seeking peace and healing.  I'm typing this to avoid a million questions.  This is really all we know right now.  Please respect that and only call with support.  It is hard to continue answering and discussing things when this is all we know.

"But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you."
Psalm 5:11