Monday, February 27, 2012


A lot has been going on around our casa lately.  Freddie's bi-weekly trips for treatment, my new career, and taking care of a very busy, but fun 14-month old can wear you out!

Freddie's doctors decided to give him a break from his meds last week.  He has been very sick from them and they want him to get a colonoscopy before they continue treatment.  His C/T showed some growth in some tumors, but some reduction in others.  I honestly don't know how to feel about that.

It has been nice, however, to have a "normal" week with my main man.  He's still tired and not truly himself, but he's been able to do more and been a little perkier.

Until this weekend...we all came down with the stomach bug.  Boo.

But, today, we are feeling more like ourselves.  I'm working away in the kitchen, trying to find a sitter for my son, and doing my normal "housewife" activities {I mean, really, could there please be a laundry fairy out there?}

It's been a fairly quiet morning.  And now that I have said that, the rest of the day will be INSANE, but the quiet has allowed me to do some thinking.

In just a few short weeks, Freddie and I will celebrate 5 years of marriage.  We have shared life for over 8 years and I can't even believe where the time has gone.  So much has happened and we both have days where we still question, "Why us?"

I will say one thing.  It has given us so much perspective.  Perspective on life and what is important.

Perspective on character and who we feel should be involved in our lives each day.  The people who will uplift us, cheer us on, and support us {and know that they will receive the same in return from us}.  The people who do not cause drama, fights, arguing, and making everything about them.  Or the people who simply don't seem to care.

Perspective on how to raise our son.  What kind of man we want him to become.  What we want him to value and appreciate.  The experiences we want to provide him and opportunities we hope come his way.

Perspective on "keeping up with the Jonses".  That my house isn't perfect {as hard as I may try for it to be}, I may not drive the latest care, shop at the trendiest stores, or eat at the hottest restaurants.  I'll tell you right now, the best place to be is home...with my two boys...happy, healthy, and spending time with them.

Perspective on my God...what I expect, what I believe, what I hope for, have faith in, and value.  How I try to fit him into a box and question why life seems so easy for some people and so hard for others.

Perspective on pain.  What pain is and how we all experience it at different levels, but at the end of the's pain.  It is hurting.  You can't put a definition on it or have expectations for it.  People hurt.  We should love them and support them through it.

It's funny.  If you had asked me, even a year ago, I thought I knew these things.  But for whatever reason, God is teaching them to me on a whole other level.  I continue to trust Him.  No matter the outcome.  No matter the situation.  I know people judge me, my relationship with Him, my faith in Him.  But, they haven't walked in my shoes and have no idea what I think, feel, and believe.

I pray that our experience continues to help us grow together.  Not only as the Caram family, but also with the people we love.  That it will find us even closer and more supportive of each other.


Monday, February 13, 2012


Our plates have been very full, obviously.  We have had a lot going on with Freddie going to NIH in MD every other week, dealing with hospital visits and sickness, Will's surgery, our social life, and my interview process.

Yes, that was a lot!  Freddie is going every other week for testing and to receive his medication.  It is stressful for both of us...a quick, exhausting trip for him and the reality of single-parenthood and anxiety over Freddie's safety for me.  Needless to say, Will and I are both so glad when he gets home.  We will know more about how effective the medicine is in the next few weeks.

We've dealt with some sickness with Freddie's medication.  He has nausea and is very tired.  Will has dealt with a lot of ear infections that lead to getting tubes and I have had strep throat and now an allergic reaction to medication.  I feel like we are continuing to battle sickness and hope to see it leave our home soon.  We claim healing and health over the Caram household!

And finally, yes, I said interview process.  I've been contemplating returning to work over the last few months, but haven't been talking about it.  With everything going on, I want Freddie's main concern to be getting well.  By pure coincidence, I asked our good friend (and insurance agent) about her job.  I'd been thinking about how important what she has done for us is.  I also like the idea of building relationships with people in a forum where I can support and help them.  She explained her career and asked me if I would be interested.  From there, I began a slightly intense interview process and hesitated sharing it with anyone until it was semi-"official".

I am now studying for my first exam and hope to take it soon.  Once I am licensed and have begun building my career I will truly be "official".  I am very excited, but slightly nervous.  This is a new direction for me.  But, as Freddie put it, I would be nervous no matter what career path I was entering into right now.  I am thankful to have his support and JoAnn's.

I am sure you can see our plates continue to be full.  I think my favorite thing over the past few weeks has been the improvement in William.  We can already tell a difference in his hearing and language development. He is beginning to talk more and understands what we are saying better.  His sweet little baby voice and attempt at singing make my days.  We are so grateful and humbled by him.

I hope this finds you well and blessed.

For Now,

The Carams

Thursday, February 9, 2012