Monday, February 27, 2012

Perspective

A lot has been going on around our casa lately.  Freddie's bi-weekly trips for treatment, my new career, and taking care of a very busy, but fun 14-month old can wear you out!

Freddie's doctors decided to give him a break from his meds last week.  He has been very sick from them and they want him to get a colonoscopy before they continue treatment.  His C/T showed some growth in some tumors, but some reduction in others.  I honestly don't know how to feel about that.

It has been nice, however, to have a "normal" week with my main man.  He's still tired and not truly himself, but he's been able to do more and been a little perkier.

Until this weekend...we all came down with the stomach bug.  Boo.

But, today, we are feeling more like ourselves.  I'm working away in the kitchen, trying to find a sitter for my son, and doing my normal "housewife" activities {I mean, really, could there please be a laundry fairy out there?}

It's been a fairly quiet morning.  And now that I have said that, the rest of the day will be INSANE, but the quiet has allowed me to do some thinking.

In just a few short weeks, Freddie and I will celebrate 5 years of marriage.  We have shared life for over 8 years and I can't even believe where the time has gone.  So much has happened and we both have days where we still question, "Why us?"

I will say one thing.  It has given us so much perspective.  Perspective on life and what is important.

Perspective on character and who we feel should be involved in our lives each day.  The people who will uplift us, cheer us on, and support us {and know that they will receive the same in return from us}.  The people who do not cause drama, fights, arguing, and making everything about them.  Or the people who simply don't seem to care.

Perspective on how to raise our son.  What kind of man we want him to become.  What we want him to value and appreciate.  The experiences we want to provide him and opportunities we hope come his way.

Perspective on "keeping up with the Jonses".  That my house isn't perfect {as hard as I may try for it to be}, I may not drive the latest care, shop at the trendiest stores, or eat at the hottest restaurants.  I'll tell you right now, the best place to be is home...with my two boys...happy, healthy, and spending time with them.

Perspective on my God...what I expect, what I believe, what I hope for, have faith in, and value.  How I try to fit him into a box and question why life seems so easy for some people and so hard for others.

Perspective on pain.  What pain is and how we all experience it at different levels, but at the end of the day...it's pain.  It is hurting.  You can't put a definition on it or have expectations for it.  People hurt.  We should love them and support them through it.

It's funny.  If you had asked me, even a year ago, I thought I knew these things.  But for whatever reason, God is teaching them to me on a whole other level.  I continue to trust Him.  No matter the outcome.  No matter the situation.  I know people judge me, my relationship with Him, my faith in Him.  But, they haven't walked in my shoes and have no idea what I think, feel, and believe.

I pray that our experience continues to help us grow together.  Not only as the Caram family, but also with the people we love.  That it will find us even closer and more supportive of each other.

Blessings,
Emily

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